


and the sea sings to us both

by meggiewrites



Series: the song of the sea [1]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Lighthouse Keeper Thomas, M/M, MerMay, Mermaid Manuel, Mythical Beings & Creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14533185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggiewrites/pseuds/meggiewrites
Summary: Thomas doesn't even meet half of the requirements when it comes to being a lighthouse keeper. With no one but his dog Murmel and an eccentric journalist to keep him company, he's wondering if accepting this job had been a good idea - but then, the morning after a big storm, he finds a naked man washed up on the shore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunasenzanotte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasenzanotte/gifts).



> Dear recipient – I really hope you enjoy this! As you can see, it got away from me a bit. When I started writing, I had only a vague idea about the plot and then six days later I finished the longest thing I've ever written.
> 
> Thanks to all my friends, editors and reviewers (all the same few lovely people – you know who you are) who helped me shape this into an actual story, as well as my beta – who I can't name for obvious reasons – who has _really_ done the heavy lifting this time. Thank you my dear ♡  
>   
> 
> _“But hope rises like water trapped by a dam, higher and higher, in increments that mean nothing until you face the flood.”_ \- Leigh Bardugo, The Language of Thorns

It started to rain as soon as Thomas disembarked the train. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting – the clouds had drawn closer together with every mile they’d come further up north, darkening, hurrying over the sky.

Not for the first time, he wondered if this might have been a bad idea. With a frown, he pulled his hood over his head, sighing as he shouldered his backpack. It was quite heavy, but it was the only thing he’d brought with him, hopefully everything he needed to live for these next few months. Well, apart from Murmel of course.

His dog smiled up at him when he looked at him, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, seemingly unbothered by the heavy drops of rain that had started to pour down on them. Thomas cursed himself for putting his raincoat at the bottom of his bag. It took him three minutes to find the bus stop, even if the train station was tiny, especially compared to the one in Munich, and the few people who had gotten out with him had already disappeared. The town itself was just as small – if you could even call it that. Slightly bigger village would probably describe it more accurately.

Thomas pulled his already completely soaked hoodie tighter around him, shivering. He hadn’t been prepared for the cold. It was September, and back home, everyone was still walking around in shorts and t-shirts. He was glad when the bus finally pulled up in front of him. It was small and rusty and resembled his grandma’s van. The cushions of the seats had holes in them and the driver only nodded when Thomas showed him his ticket and told him that he needed to go to the harbor; but at least it was dry and warm.

It was getting dark outside, the approaching storm welcoming the dusk earlier than usual. Thomas leaned his head against the window, smiling when he felt Murmel putting his head in his lap, the warmth he was radiating the only familiar thing in this strange, new surrounding.

He traced the raindrops on the window with his fingers, watching the houses pass by. They were small, but he could spot a street with a handful of small shops, including a little supermarket, a bakery, somewhere to buy clothes, toys and fresh fish. The streets were deserted, probably because of the rain, but right now, the town didn’t seem like the most welcoming place.

It had been his mother’s idea. She knew he hadn’t been in the best frame of mind ever since he’d lost his job. She hadn’t understood why he’d lost it in the first place, actually, and when he’d tried to explain that they had to cut most jobs cause their fundings had been cut, she’d only wondered why they couldn’t have let go someone else instead. But even if she hadn’t understood, she’d grown more worried every day, seeing her usually so cheerful son growing so quiet and forlorn.

“How about you get another job?” she’d asked.

Thomas had only smiled tiredly. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried. But it seemed like although his skillset was appreciated, it just wasn’t needed anywhere else at the moment.

It had been her who’d found the advertisement in a random lifestyle magazine. “It might be good for you. To do something else completely,” she’d said. “Maybe you could gain a new perspective.” New hope, she hadn’t said.

 _Looking for a temporary lighthouse keeper,_ the ad said, no qualifications necessary. They’d prefer someone with good organization skills, the man on the phone had said when Thomas called the number under the one line of text. And he shouldn’t mind being alone for a long time.

As it turned out, they hadn’t gotten many applications. The pay was not the best but decent, and since he could live in the lighthouse itself, he didn’t have to pay for rent at least. “Your job’d be actually quite simple”, the man had said. The system that operated the lighthouse had broken a couple of weeks ago. It still worked fully automated on its backup generator, but since that one was a lot older and had to be restarted every couple of hours, it required someone being there to check the functions about eight to ten times a day.

At first, the harbour master – as which the man had introduced himself – had apparently done the job himself. “But it just takes up too much time, driving out there every couple hours. I only have few employees, and they all have their hands full as well. So we decided to hire someone for it, figured it’d be a nice summer job. It should be fixed in a couple months, about eight to ten weeks, give or take.”

Thomas hadn’t had to take much time to consider. Maybe, he’d realized as he’d stared at the ceiling of his small apartment, his mother was right. Maybe a change of perspective was really all he needed to get out of his funk.

He’d already felt better when he’d been on his way to the train station with only the bare minimum of his belongings and Murmel who’d barked at him excitedly. The doubts had only started to creep in around the time he’d changed trains in Hamburg, but by now, they were weighing down his stomach, making him feel slightly nauseous. Was he really cut out for this? He was a sociable guy most of the times, used to being around people all the time, even if his friends had never been much more than colleagues. Actually, every friendship had felt kinda superficial ever since most of his friends from university had moved away after they’d graduated. Still, he wasn’t sure if he could cope on his own. If anything, his family had always been there for him. Now, they were twelve hours and almost 1000 kilometers away.

He squinted up at the sky when the bus finally came to a halt after what had felt like an eternity but had likely been less than ten minutes. The rain had stopped, but now he could feel the wind. It smelled like the sea, of salt and water and the seaweed washing up on the shore.

There was a tall, slightly overweight man waiting for him. He was dressed like a stereotypical ship captain from a children’s book: pepper-and-salt beard, golden earring, black pants, navy jacket with two rows of brass buttons and with the fitting hat too. Thomas immediately recognized the harbour master by his booming voice. His accent sounded strange to Thomas’ ears. He had never really made it out of Bavaria as far as Germany went, safe from a few city trips to Berlin, Hamburg and so on.

The greeting was surprisingly cordially, as if they’d known each other for weeks. “You’re gonna like it out there, lad, I’m sure! Sure, it’s a bit lonely, but with your buddy here, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Murmel wagged his tail when the harbor master leaned down to pat him on his head.

“We’re gonna drive out with the car. It’s usually not permitted, and sadly I can’t provide one for you, but there’s a bicycle in the lighthouse you can use. By foot it’s about twenty minutes back to the harbor.”

He talked a lot during the drive, and Thomas eagerly soaked up every word while petting Murmel’s head (the dog was sitting between his legs so he’d behave), fully knowing that this was the only human contact he might get for a couple days.

“I filled the fridge for you, there should be enough for the start. But of course there are the shops in town, if you mention that you work for me you can even get some reduction prices at some places. And best get your fish fresh from the boats in the harbour; they sell it when they come back with their catch in the evening and on Tuesday there’s a small market.”

Quickly, they left the houses behind, driving out on a narrow headland, the sea rippling on either sides of them. They passed a sign that prohibited people from entering without permission, and the harbour master was quick to add that of course didn’t apply to Thomas, and any potential visitors of his. “Not that there’s much space. But you can cram in one or two more chairs. And the view from up there really is astonishing.”

The car came to a halt.

“Well, here we are!”

The lighthouse wasn’t big, objectively. Thomas had Googled it before he’d left, and it was really one of the smaller ones in Germany. But from down here, it seemed enormous.

He was aware that he was gawking, hearing the harbor master chuckle.

“A beauty, isn’t it? It was only repainted a couple months ago.” It was. Black and white striped, it rose in front of them. Thomas had to tilt his head up to look at the top, where the lights were already spreading over the sea like long, pale fingers.

“They get turned on by remote control at dusk, so you don’t really have to bother about any of that. Come on in!”

Thomas blinked a few times when the harbor master turned on the light inside the tower, the sudden brightness hurting his eyes. Murmel barked, quickly darting off to a corner, sniffing the floor.

“Under the stairs there’s a little storage chamber, but just as a warning I wouldn’t put food in there, it tends to get quite damp. That’s also where you find the washing machine and a dryer.”

The stairs seemed endless. Thomas was out of breath when they reached the top, panting while he had to support himself on the wall while the harbour master fiddled with his keys.

The room that opened itself to him when the older man pushed opened the door was surprisingly spacious. Of course, it was round like the rest of the tower, but there was a table and a tiny kitchen perched against the wall, accompanied by a cozy-looking upholstered window bench, a small bookshelf, as well as a single but spacious bunk bed perched on a big set of built-in cupboards. A small door lead to a tiny bathroom that was nothing much more than a toilet and a sink.

“We can’t offer you wifi or an internet connection, sadly enough, but there’s a landline upstairs as well as an radio unit for when there’s something related to the automatism itself. I’ll explain it to you shortly,” he added when he saw the worried look on Thomas’ face. “The kitchen is ancient, still from when they still had actual lighthouse keepers here, but I had it looked at last week, so I promise it’s fully functional.”

The small fridge perched next to the kitchen seemed out of place, but when Thomas opened it he could see that he hadn’t been lied to – it was stocked with enough food to probably last him a whole week.

It took another half an hour for the harbour master to explain to him the technical part of his job. “I’m sorry we have to do this now, I know it’s already late, but you really do need to check every couple hours. Best to set an alarm at night.” It wasn’t much to do, really, and once he’d memorized the technicalities, Thomas was sure he’d usually get the inspection done in about ten minutes.

“If something malfunctions, there’s not even much you even need to do. Just radio us immediately, so we can get someone to look at it. If, and that’s a big if there, the whole mechanism fails, there’s a backup generator down in the bunker. You can reach it from the hatch outside. It’s fully sealed, so we don’t have to worry about water getting inside. Here’s the key for opening it. And here’s the keys to the entrance door as well as the one up here. If you have any troubles, feel free to call me.”

Thomas nodded, a bit dazed by all the information. Suddenly everything seemed so quiet once the harbour master closed the door behind himself. Murmel had already fallen asleep on the woolen rug underneath the table. The only noises where the sea roaring outside, and the soft humming of the machinery above him. And when Thomas tucked himself into the new bed after quickly scrubbing himself down with a flannel, setting his arm clock to ring every four hours at night, he thought that sure, this might be different from anything he’d done before, and maybe a bit lonely in its own right, but in a strange way, it also felt exciting, like he was finally doing something with his life again.

He fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

▻▻▻

His first day went by pretty uneventfully. All the checks went as they should, so the only reason for Thomas to report back to the harbour master was to give him a quick message that everything had went okay.

He also called his mum first thing in the morning, who immediately started to gush over him.

“I’m alright mum,” he chuckled. “It’s actually pretty darn beautiful out here,” he said while shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth, gazing out of the window, overlooking the sea. It had gotten calmer overnight, the sun was coming out slowly but surely, peeking out from behind the clouds every now and then.

He let his mother talk for about half an hour as he finished his breakfast before he finally interrupted her. His next check was due in three hours, and he’d planned to go to town in that time. While his fridge was fully stuck, he quickly had realized that the harbour master hadn’t accounted for his dog.

So he put on a fresh set of clothes – which included a dark gray aran sweater than he’d never worn at home but that felt adequate here – before wrestling the old, rusty bike out of the storage chamber, tying Murmel’s leash to the handlebars.

“Looks like you’ll get your walks after all,” he chuckled, quickly giving the dark brown fur a couple pats.

As expected, the ride back to town took about ten minutes, Murmel happily trotting alongside his bike, his tongue fluttering in the wind.

The port itself was a lot busier than the night before, boats coming and leaving, a few tourists idly walking past the few small souvenir shops that were lining the docks, peering into the windows every now and then, softly chattering. Some were buying prawn in little paper bags from one of the fishing boat or taking pictures of the idyllic scene.

Thomas smiled to himself, gripping Murmel’s leash a bit tighter when he tried to sniff at some lady’s legs. He frowned when he then patted his pockets, realizing that while he’d pocketed his wallet, he must have left his phone at home.

Home. It felt weird that he already thought of the lighthouse like that, when hadn’t even been 24 hours yet since he’d moved in. But there was something about the striped tower, about the round chamber, even the lens automatism and the small round balcony surrounding it that made it feel like it welcomed him with open arms.

Like he should be here.

Nevertheless, he was short one iPhone, and as such, had no idea how to figure out how to get to the shops. Sure, the town was small, but it wasn’t _that_ small.

The first couple he asked for directions wasn’t any help. They apologized profoundly, telling him that they were from out of town as well. The little boy he asked next didn’t answer, and instead pointed at his parents and younger sister who were feeding the seagulls with bread a few meters away.

Thomas was just about ready to go into one of the shops to ask for a map or something, when he almost crashed into someone. Or rather, someone crashed into him.

The guy was tall, wearing aviator sunglasses and called a mop of messy, windswept dark curls his own. He cursed when his cup of takeaway coffee swayed suspiciously as he just barely avoided running into Thomas. A few drops spilled on his before stark-white shirt though, some on Thomas’ jeans, and some on the ground. Actually it didn’t seem like there was much in the cup left.

“I’m so sorry,” the man apologized, “I didn’t see you standing there.”

“That’s okay,” Thomas said, just barely suppressing a short, barking laugh. It had really looked too comical. “I’m sorry that I caused you to spill your coffee.”

The man pulled a face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll have to get a new one. It’s not your fault of course,” he hurried to add, “I’m just too damn clumsy. But now I’ll have to walk all the way back to get a new one. I really need my morning coffee, you know. Not able to function without it.”

“Actually ...,” Thomas hesitated, “if you’re heading back to the shops, could you take me with you? I’m new in the area and I really need to find some food for my dog.”

The man raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Sure thing, …?”

“Thomas,” Thomas said.

“Thomas.” The man offered him his hand. Thomas shook it. “I’m Mats. Nice to meet you.”

In the five minutes it took them to walk into the center of the town, Thomas quickly figured out that Mats was quite fond of his own voice. He might even talk more than Thomas himself, which, as he’d been told by most of his friends, was quite a feat to accomplish. Soon, he knew that Mats lived on one of the smaller sailing boats in the harbour that he took around all the coast, staying at each place only for a couple of months.

“I’m a writer, you know? For some independent magazine. I mostly don’t have fixed deadlines, just get paid when I deliver an article. And it really inspires me, being out at sea, visiting new places. What are you here for then?” All of that came out in one breath.

Thomas chuckled. “I’m the lighthouse keeper. Temporary job. Until they get the old machine fixed.”

“Oh!” Mats tilted his head. “Yeah, that makes sense. Everyone wondered why old Sam – the harbour master – drove out to Fisherman’s Point several times a day. I guess a broken lens explains it.”

Thomas didn’t correct him that luckily it wasn’t the lens that was broken. (Those things were damn expensive.)

The grocery store was tiny, but luckily he could find the brand of dog food he usually went for while Mats was still talking his ear off. After adding a few additional things to his basket and checking out, Mats dragged him to the bakery he’d already noticed from the bus.

“They have the best pastries you’ll find in all of Northern Germany. And their coffee is better than the one they offer in the coffeeshop over the street.”

While Mats was paying for his coffee, he even managed to convince Thomas to try some of their cherry cheesecake. They only ate it back at the harbor though, on a bench on front of Mats’ boat. Cathy, it was called, spelled out in wonky hand-drawn letters.

“Named after my ex-girlfriend,” Mats explained in between bites. “I thought it was romantic. She thought it was weird. We broke up two months after that.” He shrugged. “I was too lazy to repaint it.”

Thomas startled when he checked his watch after they were finished. “Shit, I need to be back at the lighthouse in thirty minutes. Shouldn’t lag in my job on my first day, right.” He stood up. “It was nice to meet you.”

Mats grinned through his sunglasses. “You too! I don’t really know many people here, either. The tourists come and go every week and most of the fishermen are boring old fucks. Here,” he tore a piece of paper from the cake wrapping, pulling out a pen from his pocket. “This is my number. Don’t worry, I’m not hitting on you, you’re not my type.” (Thomas hadn’t worried.) “But it’d be cool having someone to hang out with once in a while. Just text me when you have time. I spend most hours either here at the docks or wandering around town, so I’m free whenever.”

Thomas grinned as he pocketed the snip of paper. Day one, and he’d already made a friend on the supposingly most lonely job in all of Germany.


	2. Chapter 2

It took him only a bit more than two weeks to establish a steady routine. Set the alarm clock to ring every four hours, go up to the lens room, do the checks, enter the data into the computer provided for it. Get up at eight, go for a walk with Murmel, eat breakfast, brush his teeth and wash himself at the sink. Do another check, explore the area. Meet with Mats every few afternoons, usually in town when he also did the groceries at the same time. Do another check when he got home.

He spent a lot of his time reading – he’d only brought one book from home, but Mats’ boat was crammed to the ceiling with books and magazines, and he lent him a new one almost every time they hung out, slowly filling up his bookshelf.

He reported back to the harbour master every Friday, and so far, everything seemed to work out perfectly. His stubble was a bit more pronounced than he’d ever let it get back home, and he was getting all too used to wearing a woolen sweater, faded jeans and old hiking boots as his everyday outfit – the beach was slightly muddy, and sometimes you sunk into the sand like it tried to claim your foot as its own. Murmel’s fur grew shaggier than it had ever been before, and Thomas stopped putting product in his hair because not only was it a bitch to wash out in his small sink, but his hair would eventually get ruined by the harsh wind and the salty air anyway. As a consequence, it was curlier than it’d ever been. His cheeks were constantly red because of the biting air, but whenever he looked into a mirror, he saw someone that was happy. And only a couple weeks ago, he hadn’t been able to recall that feeling.

He was just about to get ready for bed one night, his toothbrush already dangling out of the corner of his mouth when he noticed that the weather outside of his windows was changing. The clouds were a dark gray, the same daunting colour they’d been on the day of his arrival, only darker, moving faster. The sea was rough, the waves seemingly growing higher by the second.

Murmel whimpered, rubbing himself against Thomas’ legs. Thomas scratched him between his ears.

“Yeah buddy, I don’t really like this either.”

The door downstairs was fully sealed against any water that might hit it, Thomas knew, and the lighthouse itself was sturdy, had defied many a storm. But Sam (the harbour master) had told him that in extreme cases, the street back to town could get flooded. Thomas wouldn’t be stuck, exactly, but during the storm, he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, the waves too high, the surf too dangerous to cross.

He didn’t sleep well that night.

The waves hitting the walls of the lighthouse sounded like thunder, like the whole structure would come crashing down at any given moment. Combined with the actual thunder coming from the sky and the flashes of lightning illuminating his curtainless windows every couple of minutes, it felt like the apocalypse came crashing down on him.

Thomas tossed and turned, finding himself unable to drift away. From where Murmel was still whimpering on his carpet, he could tell that he had the same problem.

After another few minutes, he climbed down the ladder before picking his dog up in his arms, bringing him to bed with him. He didn’t usually do this cause the sheets always smelled like wet dog in the morning, and he feared that Murmel could hurt himself when he’d fall down, but he wanted to get at least a few more hours of sleep before the early morning test, and in that moment, having another breathing being close to him helped.

The dawn brought a sky that was slowly clearing up, waves that were still high but in a normal range, and tons of stuff washed up on the shore; he thought it was already 2pm when it was clear enough to go outside again.

The jellyfish were the first thing that Thomas noticed when he stepped out on the small strip of sand before Fisherman’s Point. Tons of them, tiny and gelatinous, speckling the beach like some kind of strange rash. Then, pieces of plastic and other garbage, finely chopped and sharpened by the force of the water. One single, rotten shoe. Several types of sea shells he hadn’t seen before, twisted ones that flared out in some kind of fan, heart-shaped ones, oval ones that were as big as his palm. He picked a few up, putting them in his pocket. Shells looked nice in the lighthouse, he’d figured out, placing some on every windowsill, even some on the stairs.

There was more seaweed than ever before tangled in between everything else, covered in leftover foam. Sometimes there were even small mounds of seaweed, that’s how much there was.

There was one in the distance that looked particularly big, but Thomas didn’t pay it any attention until Murmel ran over to it, barking at it. Thomas whistled for him to come back, but to no avail. Murmel just kept barking at the bundle of seaweed. It was several times as big as the dog was.

Thomas frowned. Murmel usually only acted like this when there was another animal in sight. But it couldn’t be, could it? Where there whales in this area? He’d heard of them once; mereswines, only slightly bigger than common pigs, nothing compared to ‘real’ wales, even if just as awe-inspiring.

His steps grew more hurried. He only slowed down again when he was close enough to see that there actually seemed to be some kind of skin underneath all that seaweed. Skin that was slowly rising and falling. So whatever it was, it was still alive.

Murmel had stopped barking once he’d seem Thomas approaching.

For a moment, Thomas hesitated. Was it wise to try to untangle this wild animal? Still wondering if he would endanger himself or this poor thing with his actions, he startled a bit when the animal let out a shuddering, deep breath. With trembling fingers, Thomas got to work while Murmel quietly observed him.

It was almost a bit frightening, how quiet everything around them suddenly was. The seagulls hadn’t returned yet, the waves hitting the shore had grown so gentle that they made almost no sound at all. The wind was mild, only tousling his hair, not tugging at it like it so often did.

The skin under his fingers felt warm, and the more he dug out, the more he realized how much it looked like his own. Too much, actually. He quickly pinched himself, wondering if he was going crazy, because what he had uncovered underneath the wet green strands looked like a human arm, a human shoulder; broad enough to belong to quite a strong man.

Thomas’ hands were shaking, as he turned it – him? – around. The rest of the seaweed fell away, and he jumped back, the shock sitting deep in his bones. What he’d been uncovering was a person. There was a man lying right in front of him, his torso and legs still tangled in seaweed. His eyes were closed, his features looked serene.

Had he looked more alive, Thomas might even had realized how beautiful he was; appreciated the soft curve of the man’s jaw and cheeks, his strong chin, the cut of his cheekbones, the button nose and the perfect arch of his eyebrows. Instead, he run a shaking, wet, smelly hand through his curls. He’d almost forgotten about Murmel, so he startled a bit when the dog rubbed his wet snout against his side. Murmel had done this  before when he’d noticed when Thomas was upset, trying in his own way to comfort him.

“What should I do now, Mu?” Thomas murmured, his voice subdued, as if all the energy drained out of him. Once again, as he did so often by now, he’d left his phone back at the lighthouse, so he had no way to call for help. At the same time, he was scared to leave the man alone. Murmel whimpered.

Frantically, Thomas tried to recall everything he’d ever learned about first aid. The man was still breathing, albeit irregularly, so CPR shouldn’t be necessary. He poked the man’s arm.

“Hey! Hey, can you hear me?”

No reaction.

He lightly slapped his cheek, but still, nothing happened. Thomas cursed quietly under his breath. It seemed that he was quite tall, and with his broad torso and sculpted arms, he certainly looked heavier than Thomas himself. Even if he’d wanted to, he likely wouldn’t have been able to carry him back to the lighthouse, never mind all the way to the port.

Just as he was about to give up, he recalled something else. He licked over his lips.

‘Well, I’ve certainly kissed less attractive people before,’ he thought as he leant down.

Just when he barely an inch away from covering the stranger’s lips with his own, the man opened his eyes.

Thomas yelped, jumping away so quickly as if he’d been stung by an army of bees. Never mind the fact that the handsome stranger washed up on his shore had the most beautiful pair of blue eyes he’d ever seen – he’d been scared shitless.

“Jesus, I almost shat my pants! Give me a bit of a warning next time!”

The man frowned at him before squinting his eyes shut, lifting one of his hands to rub his temple with a groan.

“Where am I?” His voice was raspy, as if he hadn’t used it in a while, but strangely melodious at the same time.

Thomas helped him sit up. Already, he looked a lot livelier, his cheeks tinted pink and his face so much more beautiful when he didn’t look like he was close to death. He was gorgeous, Thomas realized, blushing a bit when he noticed that underneath all the seaweed, the man seemed to be completely naked.

“Fisherman’s Point. The lighthouse is only two minutes away.”

The man was still frowning. His eyes were a bit unfocused, but then he finally turned to look at Thomas.

Thomas faltered under his stare. “Are you alright?” he managed to ask, his voice growing softer. He wanted to ask how he ended up here, too, but he figured that he shouldn’t overtax him.

The stranger nodded slowly, looking at his hands, turning them around, looking at his palms.

“Do you want to come back to mine, warm yourself up a bit?” The air was still chilly around them, and Thomas already felt the cold biting at him even wearing clothes. The man must be freezing, and considering his flushed cheeks and ears and the hint of blueness of his lips, he likely was.

When he nodded, it took a load off Thomas’ mind, and he gave the stranger a small smile that was tentatively returned. Up until that moment, Thomas had thought of him as handsome, beautiful, but right then, he looked endearingly shy.

Thomas stood up, wiping his sandy hands on his pants, quickly scratched Murmel’s head before offering the stranger a hand. As expected, he was quite heavy. Thomas’ heart skipped a beat when he wavered as soon as he’d gotten on his feet, so Thomas quickly rushed to help him, wrapping an arm around his waist. Thomas only startled a bit when the man in return carefully placed an arm around his shoulder.

They must have looked like quite a pair, he thought amusedly, pointedly trying to avoid looking at the stranger’s lower regions. Suddenly, Thomas was glad that no one ever strayed far enough to end up at this part of the coast; they’d have to do quite a bit of explaining to make sense of the absurd situation.

It took them a while to get back to the lighthouse as the nameless stranger wasn’t as steady on his feet – which made sense, considering he’d probably been knocked out for quite a while. Actually, Thomas was glad that he was apparently alright; his thighs, hips and arms were littered with dark bruises, and he had trouble walking, but in overall he seemed to be in surprisingly good condition.

When they reached the lighthouse’s front door, the man looked at him questioningly. By now, his skin seemed to have gained an overall blue undertone, and Thomas reprimanded himself for not offering him his sweater at the very least.

Then again, he thought, the stranger likely wouldn’t have fit into it anyway. Standing next to each other like this, the differences in their build were quite apparent.

Thomas fiddled with the keys, his fingers numb from the cold and the water. When he finally managed to open the door, he sighed happily when the warm air coming from inside greeted them like a soft embrace.

“You live here?” the stranger’s voice sounded a lot smoother now, less sickly and warmer too.

Thomas nodded. “At the moment, yeah. Come on in. I can’t offer you a shower, but there’s warm water you can scrub yourself down with, and I can lend you some of my clothes. I’ll make us tea.”

The man smiled; it made him look very cute. “Thank you,” he said after clearing his throat, sounding so terribly sincere that it made something warm stir in Thomas’ stomach.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said as he kept a hand on the small of the stranger’s back as they walked up the stairs.

▻▻▻

Thomas put on the kettle while the beautiful stranger occupied his bathroom.

He really should stop thinking of him like that, Thomas thought, but his chances of getting those blue eyes out of his head were just as much as his chances of forgetting the view of the man’s naked ass as he’d walked up the stairs. Which wasn’t much at all.

He blushed, quickly busying himself with ripping open the teabag, placing it in the blue ceramic pot that had come with the old, surprisingly charming, lighthouse kitchen. In the back of the cupboard, he’d managed to find a second mug. Thomas’d never used it before; the few times Mats had been here, he’d only ever drank water or brought his takeaway cup of coffee with him.

Additionally, he’d placed some of the sea shells he’d found that morning in the middle of the table. Accompanied by the pale red cloth in the middle of it, it almost look like something out of a painting. Thomas pushed the fact that it also looked a bit like the set-up for a date back to the furthest corner of his mind as quickly as it had appeared in the first place.

Instead, he lifted his head when he heard the stranger reentering the room. When Thomas had pushed them into his arms, he had looked at the pants like he’d never seen any before. Granted, they were a bit too short and the shirt slightly too tight on him, but already, his cheeks had gained back some of their healthy colour.

His dark blond hair was still damp from the water outside, but by now he’d pushed it back a bit to make himself look more put together.

“Here,” Thomas said softly, offering him one of the cups of tea. “Be careful, it’s still hot.”

The stranger eyed the tea suspiciously but then leaned down for a sip. His eyes grew wide. “Oh! It’s good!”

Thomas chuckled, pulling back his chair, sitting down. The stranger followed his example. “I’m glad. What’s your name anyway?”

The stranger paused, taking another sip. “Manuel.”

“Manuel.” Thomas tasted the name on his tongue as if it’d been the first time he’d heard it. It fit him, he thought. “And how did you end up getting washed up on the shore, Manuel?”

Manuel shrugged. “I…. I don’t really remember.” He looked a bit crestfallen, almost hurt, frowning into his cup. Thomas had to resist leaning over and covering Manuel’s hand with his own.

They didn’t talk for a while, only staring out of the window. Once they finished their tea, Thomas got up to clean their mugs. Manuel stood up as well, looking unsure what to do.

“You can dry them, if you’d like,” Thomas said, pointing at the towel. Manuel looked puzzled at first, but then he did as he was told.

“How did you end up here?” Manuel asked while he meticulously dried the first one. “You don’t seem like someone who prefers to be all on his own.”

Thomas laughed quietly when Murmel barked out of protest, as if to signify that ‘hey, I’m here too!’, and then launched into the story of how he’d ended up being a lighthouse keeper.

At some point, they migrated to the window bench, sitting opposite each other with their legs flush against their chests so that they wouldn’t bump into each other. Thomas made them another cup of tea, then later cooked them dinner.

He quickly found out that Manuel was a good listener with a beautiful, quiet laugh that reminded him of windchimes, asking just enough curious questions to keep him going.

It was strange, how comfortable it felt, considering they’d only known each other for a couple of hours, and that while Manuel was learning more and more about Thomas, the blond was still a mystery to Thomas; as was his strange and sudden appearance.

He tried not to think about how it felt like he was part of the small lighthouse apartment already, how Manuel’s presence, even if he was so physically big, didn’t feel imposing at all. On the opposite, Manuel filled the room with life in a way that Thomas’ presence alone wasn’t able to, in a way that he’d missed before, chasing the last bit of homesickness away.

It was already half past midnight when their conversation finally ebbed out. A few times, Thomas had already gone up to do the checks, and each time he’d come back down, he’d found Manuel petting Murmel’s head, humming to him with a strange, melodious voice. The second time, Thomas had stopped halfway down the stairs, just observing them, wondering if it was normal, that there was already a fondness pooling in his stomach when he looked at them.

He’d never been a big believer in love at first sight, but if he was being honest with himself, he had no other explanation for the fact that he longed to trace his fingers down Manuel’s face, to carefully embrace him; that already, he knew he would have a hard time when Manuel would, inevitably, leave.

It almost pained him to ask his next question. “Do you have a way to get back home? I can lend you my bike if you want, you will be back at the port in about ten minutes.”

Manuel pulled at the hem of the shirt he was wearing, not meeting his eyes.

“I don’t have anywhere to go.”

There was something in his voice that made it clear to Thomas that he shouldn’t ask.

When he settled down on the window bench to sleep, having offered Manuel – still bruised and beaten, and exhausted by everything that had happened that day – his bed to sleep on, a smile stole his way onto his lips.

He didn’t know why, but he felt like something had changed today. Changed for the good.

▻▻▻

He was somewhat surprised when Manuel was still there in the morning. Somehow, he had expected the whole thing to have been one crazy dream. Instead, he found the tall blond sleeping peacefully in the bunk bed, curled up on himself like a giant kitten, so that his feet wouldn’t hit the wall. Even if it was fairly wide, the bed was already slightly too short for Thomas, and Manuel was half a head taller than him. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep.

It felt strange, making breakfast for two, but just like the day before, he enjoyed the task of setting up the table nicely and properly, never having bothered with that when he’d still been alone.

Manuel woke up around the time when he poured the tea into the cups. He almost fell down the ladder as he climbed down, looking adorable drowsy, his bed-dried hair sticking out at odd angles. He still smelled a bit like seaweed, Thomas noticed, but he guessed that that was no miracle, considering that he’d been completely tangled up in the stuff not even 24 hours ago.

“Have you slept well?”

Manuel nodded before offering him a smile, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. He was so tall that his fingertips almost grazed against the light hanging from the ceiling.

They ate breakfast in silence, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Manuel observed him curiously while Thomas was feeding Murmel, and without having been asked, picked up the dish towel when Thomas started doing the washing up. Then, Thomas went upstairs to do another check while Manuel once again played with Murmel who was clearly warming up to him, jumping up at him, wadding his tail.

It was Manuel who suggested they should go outside when he came back down. The weather was nicer by now, the sun coming out and the seagulls yelling and screaming above their heads once again.

Manuel winced as soon as they stepped off the road though.

Thomas grinned at the face he pulled. “Right, we should probably get you some shoes.”

They quickly figured out that Thomas’ didn’t fit him; he just barely manage to cram his toes into them.

Getting to town turned out to be a lot harder than he’d expected. He quickly found out that Manuel couldn’t ride a bike – he’d eyed it with growing panic when Thomas had offered that Manuel should ride instead of walk as he’d jog alongside him – so they somehow figured out a way for Manuel to sit on the carrier while Thomas rode. The bike creaked underneath their combined weight, and every now and then they wobbled dangerously, but somehow, they made it to the port without breaking any bones.

Luckily the one single clothing store in town actually carried shoes in size 47. Thomas picked a pair of sturdy looking sneakers that looked a lot better than his own, beaten pair that the shopkeeper assured them was waterproof. They picked up some clothes as well because Thomas didn’t have nearly enough for the two of them – a few t-shirts, some underwear and socks, a sweater, a hoodie, a rain jacket, two pair of pants – paid for by Thomas of course, since Manuel hadn’t had any money on his naked body.

He winced when he saw the final balance on the check, but he swiped his card nevertheless, especially after taking notice of Manuel’s grateful smile.

He’d been paid double last month because of a minor inconvenience that according to Sam, Thomas had handled with bravour, so he wasn’t as bothered, even if it was a bit weird that Manuel didn’t even know his own size. Thomas had asked him about his family and where he’d come from again in the morning, but Manuel had stayed as silent as he’d been before, so he didn’t ask again.

They got some sweets from the bakery on their way back, and the wide-eyed look on Manuel’s face when he first bit into his slice of nutella cake – a speciality – was downright comical. When they finally turned into the small alley that lead back to the harbour, Thomas once more almost collided with Mats.

“Thomas!” he said as soon as he realized who was standing in front of him. He looked relieved. “Hey, Mull. There you are! You haven’t answered my texts since the storm; I have to admit, I had grown a bit worried, who knows how bad those get out at Fisherman’s Point.” Then, “Who’s your friend?”

Thomas sighed playfully, feeling a bit guilty when he realized that he in fact hadn’t checked his phone since he’d stumbled over Manuel.

“Mats, this is Manuel. Manuel, my good friend Mats.”

Mats offered the blond his hand. Manuel eyed it dubiously for a couple seconds until he reached out to shake it. He was a few centimeters taller than Mats, Thomas noticed, even if his friend would have probably denied that.

On their way back to the harbour – “I shouldn’t drink so much coffee anyway,” Mats had joked – his curly haired friend side-eyed Manuel carefully, somewhat suspicious of Manuel’s taciturn character and his mysterious smiles. Nevertheless, the three of them got along well. They played off each other well, and Manuel even laughed at Mats’ stupid puns which Thomas usually only graced with a huff and a roll of his eyes. It delighted Mats to no end. Manuel’s eyes on the other hand crinkled up adorably when he laughed, making him look a lot more delicate than he actually was. There was a fish market that day, and after Thomas noticed Manuel eyeing some of the catch with an untamed hunger in his eyes, he gave in and brought some of them.

It was almost 6pm when they finally made it back to the lighthouse, and for the first time, Thomas was late for one of his checks. Thankfully, everything was still fine, so he didn’t think Sam would be too bothered, even if he knew that he couldn’t make this a regularity. He cooked the fish while both Manuel and Murmel looked on hungrily, even if Manuel eyed the frying pan with a growing scrutiny.

“Would you have prepared it differently?” Thomas asked.

Manuel was quick to shake his head. “It’s actually really good!” he reassured him with a hint of surprise in his voice as he took the first bite. Then, quieter, with a smile, “Thanks for cooking, Thommy.”

The butterflies in Thomas’ stomach started to do somersaults.

That night, Thomas spent almost an hour staring at Manuel’s broad back rising from the bunk bed. The window bench was uncomfortable, too small for him to fully stretch out, his legs bent in weird angles; his back already hurting from the night before.

It felt weird, how so suddenly, Manuel felt like he belonged here. Belonged here with him.

After a couple of days, Manuel asked him if he could learn how to do the checks. He looked unsure, but the eager spark in his eyes made it clear that he wanted to learn. Initially, Thomas had his reservations. “I can’t give you my pay though, you realize that?” Though when he thought about it, technically, he already lived off them.

Manuel was quick to nod.

In the end, he was glad when he started to do every few checks, even if he had his troubles handling the computers (“I never really had much to do with them”) mostly because his sleep was now only disrupted every second night instead of each one. His back had grown tense and hard from all the hours he spent sleeping on the bench, but Manuel’s dopey smile when he had their tea already prepared in the morning made up for it.

The blond might not have talked much, but Thomas still learned a lot about him in his own way, carefully storing away every piece of knowledge, every bit about the blond’s preferences that he could pick up on.

Manuel wasn’t too much of a morning person and usually preferred getting up long after the sun had already risen, but he got up with Thomas nevertheless, stressing that he enjoyed their joint breakfast very much. After a few first failed tries, he made amazing pancakes, he prefered to eat his fish only lightly cooked or even better only smoked, he liked walking around on the beach without shoes, burying his toes in the sand.

Manuel had a great singing voice, and after some encouragement from Thomas, started to sing along to the songs on the radio whenever they were doing the dishes. At one point, he grabbed Thomas’ hands, spinning him around. They both weren’t good dancers, Manuel too stiff and Thomas too lanky, too uncoordinated, but their shared laughter and the way Manuel’s eyes almost disappeared when he smiled so widely when they almost tumbled to the ground was enough to make Thomas’ heart soar.

Every couple of days, Manuel disappeared for a couple of hours, always returning with a renewed glow on his cheeks and a bounce in his steps. When Thomas asked, he assured him that he was going on long walks on along the shore.

“It helps me clear my thoughts,” he’d said, smiling wistfully, “to be alone with the ocean. Sometimes it feels like it’s a living, breathing being, but it manages to help me focus nevertheless.”

Of course, Thomas had long realized that at some point, his modest earnings wouldn’t be enough to support the two of them, but he couldn’t bring himself to send Manuel away. Not when his laugh sounded like bells jingling in the wind, not when he looked so kissable whenever he smiled, not when he talked about the sea in his smooth, calming voice.

Not when he looked at Thomas like he’d hung the stars.

Not when one night, after he’d apparently listened to Thomas toss and turn on his bench again once more, he chuckled warmly.

“Thomas. Come up here and stop torturing yourself.”

His breath was warm against Thomas’ skin, his cheeks rosy when they looked at each other, their noses almost touching.

From that night on, they always fell asleep next to each other, waking up with their limbs tangled and every morning, Thomas marveled at the beauty in his arms, wondering what he’d done to deserve him when Manuel blinked up at him, mumbling a drowsy “morning” before burying his face back in the pillow.

He was surprised when one day, Manuel came back from one of his walks clutching a handful of shimmering shells.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” he said, smiling from ear to ear.

Thomas picked one up. It looked tiny in sitting in his palm, but so precious nevertheless. “They’re stunning, Manu. I’ve never seen this kind before. Where did you find them?”

Manuel shrugged. “A few hours from here,” he said, before carefully placing them in a small basket he’d found at the back of the wardrobe.

Two days later, he brought back more of them, as well as some weirdly shaped but somehow beautiful orange rocks and the skeletons of a few sea urchins.

He asked if he could leave Thomas on his own the next time when they went to the port.

“I’d be back in an hour or so,” he said, giving Thomas a pleading look.

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to ask me for permission, Manu, I’m not your keeper. I guess I’ll go visit Mats, haven’t seen him in a while.” His friend had been holed up in his boat, his nose buried in one of his articles for the past few days, and Thomas hadn’t heard from him apart from the occasional text.

The writer had only sent back a smirking emoji when in response, Thomas had sent him an image he’d taken of Manuel standing by the ocean, looking out at the horizon.

Mats looked quite unkempt when he opened the door, his curls were getting long, sticking out at odd angles. Thomas had never seen him wear glasses before either; they made him look like the hot professor all the students would fawn over.

“Mull, hey!” he exclaimed, rather enthusiastically. “Fancy seeing you here.”

He’d just finished the article, he explained as they made their way under deck. “And my editor loved it! Well,” he pushed back his glasses, letting himself fall down on his built-in couch, “it was less of a serious article than summarizing a  bunch of myths and legends, but I don’t think I ever had as much fun as researching something before. Here, look.”

The pages he showed him were printed on pale blue paper, imitating water.

“Mermaids?” Thomas asked, chuckling disbelievingly as he skipped over the title and the first few paragraphs.

Mats nodded. “The fishermen have tales about them. I overheard a few of them talking about a large tail they spotted a couple weeks ago. Covered in scales so it couldn’t have been a whale. Of course, it was likely just a big fish and they are all superstitious old men, but it got me hooked. After a bit of prodding, they told me their stories about suspected encounters. One of them even claims that he once almost ran aground because the song of a mermaid had lured him into shallow waters!”

Thomas shook his head. “They can’t actually believe that. The world is a much less strange place than most people think.”

“Says the guy who first met his boyfriend lying naked on the beach, wrapped in algae,” Mats said, smirking.

Thomas huffed. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t want him to be.”

Well, he had a point there.

“But you have to admit, it’s a bit weird, how he just showed up after the storm like that. Has he ever talked about his past?”

Thomas shook his head. He had stopped wondering about that a while ago, actually, content with knowing that Manuel would tell him when he felt comfortable. He’d even told him so, actually.

“Don’t you think that’s suspicious?”

“What is suspicious?” someone asked from the open hatch.

Manuel had a smug grin on his face that only grew wider as he sat down next Thomas, putting his hands behind his head with an air of satisfaction.

“Nothing,” Mats said quickly, side-eying him. “Now get out of here, you two. I should really put the finishing touches on this before I send it to my editor. Can’t have you two lovebirds distracting me.”

Thomas tried and failed not to blush at the remark. It helped that when he looked at Manu out of the corner of his eyes, he could see that the blond wasn’t faring any better.

They walked in silence for a while, following the headland leading to the lighthouse. Thomas was pushing the bike, their two bags of groceries hanging from each side of the handlebar, while Manu had his hands stuffed into his pockets. He looked very cozy in his slightly too big sweater; it suited him, made him look cuddlier, smaller than he actually was.

He kicked a pebble, not looking at Thomas. “Um. I sold the shells and the other stuff.”

Thomas halted abruptly. The bike wobbled. An orange fell out of one of the bags.

Manuel picked it up again, shrugging. “I knew the lady in the souvenir shop would make me a good price. I’d seen her sell handmade bracelets to the tourists last time, and I figured she could use some more fancy materials. Here.”

He pulled a few hundred Euros out of his pocket, grinning when he saw the look of disbelief on Thomas’ face. “Amber is quite valuable, didn’t you know?”

“I thought those were just weirdly pretty misshapen rocks!”

Manuel rolled his eyes fondly, shaking his head at that much ignorance. He stopped, his look growing cautious for a moment, tentative.

“I know that I’ve become a burden for you these past few weeks. I really appreciate that I can stay with you, but I know that you can’t support the two of us. I thought this might be a good way to contribute my part.”

Thomas couldn’t help gaping a bit. He reached for Manuel’s hand, gently squeezing it. “You’re wonderful,” he said, meaning every word.

Manuel blushed. He didn’t pull his hand away.

For a moment, Thomas considered the pros and cons of what he was about to do, but with Manuel smiling down at him like _that_ , he decided to risk it.

The taller one startled a bit when his lips were suddenly covered by Thomas’, causing the brunet to quickly pull away again.

“Is … is this okay?” He hardly ever stuttered, but he could feel his voice waver now. What if Manuel didn’t want this as much he did? He physically felt the relief running through him from head to toe when Manuel nodded enthusiastically, his eyes shining.

With a smile, Thomas leaned in again, rising on his tiptoes to balance out the height difference between them.

Manuel sighed happily, his eyes fluttering shut, causing Thomas to grin against his lips, letting his left hand come up to the blond’s waist while he placed the right one to the side of his face, deepening their kiss. Manuel’s cheek felt rough under his fingertips, coarse from the stubble that lightly dusted it.

Manuel tasted warm, like the cake he’d probably eaten a few minutes ago – he could never resist the temptation of Mrs. Baumann’s nutella cheesecake, Thomas knew – like salt, and somehow still reminiscent of the seaweed Thomas had found him in. He sighed contently when Manuel’s continued to wrap his arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, their bodies flush against each other.

He laughed quietly when they finally came up for air, resting his head on Manuel’s chest, chuckling when he could hear the blond’s heart race underneath his ear.

“God, you have no idea how badly I wanted to do that,” he mumbled.

Manuel froze, and for a moment Thomas feared he was gonna pull away, but then, he only wrapped him tighter in his embrace, pressing a short kiss on his head.

His answer was almost inaudible, spoken against the nape of Thomas’ neck, but Thomas could feel them rumble against his skin, sliding straight into his body. “Me too.”

Thomas couldn’t help but kiss him again.

Things were different from the moment they came home. They hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other on the whole way back. Murmel greeted them enthusiastically, but grumpily disappeared downstairs when they didn’t pay him any attention. He had found one of his favourite spots in the warmth by the tumble dryer, which was probably where he was heading now, but that couldn’t be further from Thomas’ mind.

He had pushed Manuel against the door as soon as he’d closed it behind them. Manuel was panting, but they’d both already been out of breath when they’d reached the bottom of the stairs.

This time, it was Manuel who pulled away. “Wait. Thommy, wait.”

Thomas shot him a curious look. His hands were resting at Manuel’s belt buckle and he could feel that the blond was just affected by this as he was. So why were they stopping?

Manuel barely suppressed a moan when Thomas’ fingers ghosted over his most sensible area, his hands gripping Thomas’ shoulders so tightly that it almost hurt.

“We …,” he whimpered, “we need to do another check before ...”

Thomas groaned, only half in annoyance. Manuel was right; missing another check wasn’t the best idea, especially since Sam hadn’t been happy about the two of them living here together anyway. (“Don’t expect me to pay both of you,” he’d said, “and don’t let it distract you from your work.” Thomas had never seen him be so gruff before.)

His fingers were still trembling in anticipation when he checked the machines; knowing that Manuel was down there, waiting for him.

He was already laying on the bed in nothing but his underwear when Thomas stumbled back down the stairs ten minutes later, looking at Thomas with hooded eyes.

His grin was lazy but content, his clothes neatly folded on one of the chairs.

Thomas almost almost took a fall when he tried to step out of his pants while fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, but it was all worth it when he finally joined Manuel on the bed, sitting in between his legs, placing his hands on Manuel’s chest before leaning further down, their hearts beating along to the rhythm of their bodies.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Mats who put the idea in his head, of course it was. Mats and his stupid theories about mermaids and sirens and whatever they were called.

Manuel didn’t know anything about these suspicions, of course. Everything had been perfect between them these past few days, like something out of a romantic comedy. Nothing had changed between them but at the same time everything had. Now they made breakfast in their underwear, exchanging kisses in between giggles. Now they held hands when they went on walks along their shore, exploring further than Thomas had ever strayed before, Manuel showing him all his favourite spots, regaling him with old tales and legends about the sea that he had, or so he claimed, heard from his mother.

The stories were strange in a way that Thomas couldn’t put his finger on, and he’d never heard about them before but to him, it was another sign that Manuel wanted to share his life with him, that he was ready to slowly open up about his past even if he clearly felt uncomfortable talking about it.

To Mats, it was only further proof that Manuel was a mermaid.

At first, Thomas had thought it was ridiculous, of course.

But then, then he remembered how Manuel had looked at the first set of clothes that Thomas had handed him as if he had no idea what to do with them, his proclivity for almost-raw fish, that he seemed to have no money or last name to speak of and how he hadn’t known his own sizes. The way that cake had seemed a novelty to him, how he didn’t understand some of the words Thomas was using (which so far Thomas had always blamed on him being unable to deal with his Bavarian accent), how he came back with strange items whenever he went on walks along the shore. 

How he loved the ocean like no one else Thomas had ever met and how he resembled it too, in its beauty, its gentleness, but also the roar of the waves during a storm – he knew how Manuel’s eyes looked when he was angry. It hadn’t happened often, and his anger had never once been directed at him, but there had been a spark in Manuel’s eyes that had made him look dangerous.

It hadn’t been Mats idea for Thomas to secretly follow Manuel on one of his trips through; no, that stupid decision he’d made all on his own. 

He felt guilty, sneaking around like that; and even if he wasn’t actively lying to Manuel about his suspicious, about that absurd theory, some part of him felt like he did. ‘Why don’t you just ask him?’ it whispered. But how do you go about asking the person who, in a matter of weeks, has taken your heart by storm, if he’s actually a mythological creature?

Mats was wrong, of course. Thomas was a very rational person – such things as mermaids didn’t exist. Compared to his own boisterous person, Manuel was an introvert; likely he just needed the occasional breaks when he could be by himself with no other person around, and all the other stuff could be explained, too.

Still Thomas’ hadn’t realized how far Manuel’s walks usually took him. It’d been two hours since they’ve left the lighthouse, the coast getting rougher, littered with rocks and driftwood. Thomas realized that he should have turned back around by now, but somehow, at that moment, Sam’s wrath seemed better than giving up now, than having broken his boyfriend’s trust to no avail.

They sky was closing as well, and Thomas wrapped his arms closer around himself to suppress a shiver, regretting that he hadn’t brought a jacket. A few drops of rain hit his cheeks, and he wiped them away like one would angry tears.

Several times, he had to scramble to hide behind a rock formation when Manuel had turned around. Thomas kept a reasonable distance, so he could just barely make out his form against the blaringly gray sky, but still, he feared being discovered.

Manuel looked over his shoulder every couple minutes. Come to think about it, it did look like he was checking if he was being followed, but that wasn’t possible. No one usually came here, that much was clear. The shore had slowly transformed into a cliff, and everything in Thomas’ sight was completely bare of human touch. No paths, no signs, not even any of the usual litter that so often got washed up on the coast.

So why would Manuel feel like he needed to worry about other people? Did he suspect that Thomas was following him?

At one point, Thomas stumbled over a rock. When he got up again, there was a tear in his jeans and blood on his knee. Luckily, Manuel didn’t seem to have heard him, even if to him it had seemed like he had made quite a commotion. Walking hurt, from then on, and he quickly started to wonder if the knee was bruised as well as bloody.

He let out a sigh of relief when Manuel finally stopped a few minutes later. Initially, Thomas had expected him to pick up some knick knacks on his way, something reminiscent of the things he brought home with him, but he hadn’t bent down, looked at the ground even once, marching on with a determination and an ease that Thomas hadn’t seen in him before.

Instead, he now pulled of his jumper, shortly followed by his shirt, his shoes, his trousers and his boxers.

Thomas tilted his head. The ocean had been too cold to swim already when he had first arrived at the lighthouse, fall and the storms that came with it having arrived earlier that season. Only a madman would voluntarily submerge himself in the water, and up until that moment, Manuel had always struck him as quite a reasonable person.

But there was another possibility, something in his mind whispered. It seemed more plausible with every step Manuel took closer to the water, but Thomas simply refused to believe it. He shook his head, flinching back when Manuel turned around once more, letting his gaze roam over the expanse of the beach. His eyes flicked over Thomas’ hiding place without any change in his expression, and Thomas let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. It was quickly followed by an incredulous gasp when Manuel then, in one single smooth motion, dove into the ocean.

Some irrational part of him still hoped that Manuel would come back up only seconds later, realizing that going swimming in October was just about the worst idea anyone ever had – but that didn’t happen. 

Thomas sat there for a minute, then two, before daring to move closer to where Manuel’s clothes laid in in an abandoned pile, staring at the waves breaking in on each other. He reached down to grip Manuel’s shirt, shivering. By now, his hands were numb from the cold, but the fabric was soft between his fingers, and when he lifted it up to his face, it still smelled like Manuel too; so achingly familiar, so beloved that it made Thomas’ heart clench. He didn’t know when he’d passed out, he only came back around when felt someone was slapping his cheeks.

“Please,” someone pleaded, “c’mon Thommy, you’re stronger than this!” The voice sounded broken, desperate, but there was an underlying tenseness; a furious tone that made Thomas shiver.

Or maybe that was just the cold.

It had gotten colder. His whole body felt like a giant icicle. His scraped knee burnt like fire. He only realized that his clothes were completely drenched when he managed to open his eyes with tremendous effort, the spray of the sea of the sea hitting him again and again.

Manuel was hovering over him, his hands running up and down Thomas’ arms frantically in a futile attempt to warm him up. He was still naked apart from the underwear he’d apparently put on again, his hair wet. He let out a relieved sob when he saw that Thomas had opened his eyes, leaning down to kiss him in the most desperate of ways. The kiss was rough and Thomas could taste blood in his mouth. 

Manuel looked furious when he pulled away, ripping his hands away from Thomas’ body as if he’d burnt himself. “Don’t you dare ever do that to me again. I thought you were dead, you asshole!”

“Manu,” Thomas whimpered, lifting a shaking hand to reach for him, but Manuel only moved further away. He’d turned around, staring at the ocean. The waves had grown bigger, the wind rougher, scrubbing at their cheeks.

“Why did you follow me?” Manuel sounded calm, but he had his fists clenched by his sides, belying the storm that was raging inside of him. He spun around, and there was a cold fire burning in his eyes. “Was it worth to follow me, to betray my trust, just so that you could almost catch your death?”

Thomas felt tears stinging his eyes. He tried to say something, but the words died on his tongue. Never before had he felt this helpless. “Mats said …”

Manuel’s laugh was harsh, cynical. “Mats, of course. Mats with his theories and his research and his old wives’ tales. Mats knows  _ nothing _ about my kind. But you believed him, didn’t you?” There was bitterness seeping into his voice. “Believe  _ me _ ; my people make sure that anyone who even gets to close to humankind gets cast out, left behind, abandoned, just so that they will be able to protect our society, so that people like Mats will never know about us.”

He takes one step back, and Thomas feels the realization freeze his bones like he was already turning to ice. Mats had been  _ right _ . Looking at Manuel now, raging with fury, towering over him like a vengeful god, the sea roaring behind him, it didn’t feel hard to believe.

Manuel’s voice was more quiet by the time he spoke up again, almost drowned out by the sound of the waves crashing down on the shore, but it cut through Thomas like knives.

“Why did you have to follow me,” he almost sounds a bit desperate, “you could have asked, you know? If you asked me, I think I would have told you. But they were right. You humans are all the same.”

Thomas gulped. He wanted to protest, to defend himself, but he knew he would sound nothing but desperate, and he was too weak to actually speak. “I’m …,” he croaked out, trailing off. The blood on his tongue tasted like iron and he couldn’t move his toes anymore.

Manuel didn’t look at him as he was getting dressed and when he turned back around, he suddenly looked like Thomas’ Manuel again. Gentle, soft in a way that should be impossible considering his towering height. Beautiful. Only his eyes were different, reflecting his true nature; they were hard as steel and as cold as the ocean.

He picked Thomas up as if he weighed nothing more than a feather, carrying him over the desolate shore. Thomas must have fallen asleep at some point because when he woke again, he could see the lighthouse rising in front of him.

Manuel gently put him down. “You have the keys,” he grumbled. He didn’t look him in the eyes.

By the time they reached the top of the stairs, Thomas was exhausted, collapsing on the window bench, his eyes immediately falling shut.

He could hear Manuel making his way upstairs, handling the machines, and even with all that had happened, that teased a little smile out of him. Perfect, proper Manuel. He made tea when he came back down, wordlessly, giving Murmel’s head a few gentle pats but still avoiding looking at Thomas. The dog had barked at them enthusiastically when they’d come back, happy to see them after being alone for several hours, but neither of them had managed to give him any of their attention. He quickly demolished his food once Manuel had poured it into the little bowl.

The tea was warm, heating Thomas up from within. His fingers were still stiff, they felt like they were made out of plywood which made clutching the mug kinda difficult. Manuel was sitting in one of the chairs. He was looking at Thomas, scrutinizing him before standing up with a sigh. He did the washing up on his own since Thomas was too weak to stand up. He didn’t turn on the radio, didn’t hum along, then tucked Thomas into bed without saying a word, taking the woolen blanket from the bench and draping it over his still trembling body.

The last thing Thomas remembered before drifting away were his eyes, staring directly into his soul.

▻▻▻

The sun was out when Thomas woke up again, the rays shining through the windows, illuminating the space, and when he checked his alarm clock, he realized it was already noon.

When he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he noticed that Manuel was still sitting in one of the kitchen chairs. He had fallen asleep with his head resting on his arms and when Thomas got closer, he realized there were dark circles underneath Manuel’s eyes.

Carefully, Thomas climbed down the ladder. His body still ached all over and he noticed a gauze around his left knee. He didn’t remember that being there when he’d fallen asleep, so Manuel must have patched him up while he’d been sleeping. He made tea, two cups out of habit, one for himself, quietly placing the other in front of Manuel.

Manuel looked younger when he was sleeping, the lines on his forehead softer, less harsh. Thomas didn’t know how old he was – who even knew if merpeople had a similar age span to humans – but usually, he looked like he was in his late twenties. Right now though, he could have passed as nineteen. Thomas found himself tracing his fingers down his cheek. Manuel hadn’t shaved in a couple days, so it was rough like sandpaper. Thomas startled when he moved, slowly blinking his eyes open.

Manuel sat up, frowning at Thomas, quickly gripping the tea mug when he almost knocked it over, just barely keeping the hot liquid from spilling all over the table.

“Have you slept at all?” Thomas asked, finding himself unable to meet his eyes.

Manuel shrugged. “Not really. Tables aren’t that comfortable.” The exhaustion in his eyes were enough to make clear that he hadn’t attempted to sleep in any other space.

For a few minutes, they just sat there, quietly sipping their tea.

It was Thomas who cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry.” His throat still felt dry but clogged at the same time. He partly blamed it on the emotions inside of him and partly on the fact that he had likely caught a cold last night. All things considering, he was surprised that he didn’t feel worse. Only physically, of course.

He took a deep breath. “I shouldn't have followed you. I had no right. Mats is not to blame, it was me who listened to him in the first place, let myself be consumed by this idea that...” he trailed off.

Manuel smiled drily. “That I’m a mermaid? Well,” he paused, “it’s not like he’s wrong. Though I prefer merman, myself.”

Thomas had known for hours, but having Manuel spell it out like that was still one of the strangest things he’s ever experienced. “So, you’re really like … with a tail and all?” He hated how eager he suddenly sounded, resisting an urge to peer under the table, to check if he could find any scales on Manuel’s legs or webbing between his toes.

Manuel snorted. “Yes, tail and all. We lose them once we step foot on land, though. Would be kinda impractical not to.”

“I’m sorry,” Thomas said again and he meant it. He wasn’t apologizing for asking stupid questions though; he was apologizing for going behind his back. He let out a sigh of relief when Manuel’s smile grew softer, more genuine. 

His heart skipped a beat when after a moment of consideration, the blond leaned forward, quickly pecking him on the lips before pulling away again.

“It  _ was _ a stupid idea. Following me,” he added when Thomas shot him a quizzical glance, “especially only wearing a thin sweater. You were lucky that I came back earlier, usually I would have stayed under the surface for at least an hour. Never mind the audacity of disrespecting my privacy like that. Just be glad that I’m unable to hold a grudge,” he grumbled.

“‘m sorry,” Thomas repeated, standing up, wrapping his lanky arms around Manu, burying his face in his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,  _ mein Herz _ .”

He smiled into Manu’s sweater when he covered Thomas’ hands with his own.

“I’m sorry too.”

Thomas lifted his head, confused. “What the hell for?” As far as he knew, the blond had nothing to apologize for.

Manuel turned his head to face him. “If I had told you some bits and pieces about myself, about my life, you wouldn’t have been left in the dark like that. You offered me your trust, your home, your food. I gave you nothing in return.”

Thomas kissed him deeply. “But you did.” Your love, your heart, your presence. It was enough, had always been enough for him, but that sounded almost to cheesy even in Thomas’ mind. His smile was crooked as he sat down opposite of Manuel. “And as far as your story goes. Well, how about you start now?”

Manuel smiled, nudging Thomas’ foot with his own.

▻▻▻

He had been cast out when he’d still been a kid, for getting too close to humans, Manuel explained.

“I’ve always had been so fascinated by you. You did things so differently than us. You built these giant leviathans out of metal so you could use it to traverse the sea because you weren’t strong enough to swim through it. So weak but at the same time so resourceful, so innovative. Back home, everything always stayed the same.”

When he’d been a teen, daring enough to explore on his own, he’d swam too close to a couple of fishing boats one time, and they had spotted him.

“It requires the most dire punishment. I was banished, seen as a threat to our kind. We’ve always used song to interact with humans, but in stark contrast to your myths, we originally didn’t use it to kill humans, but to lure them away from our own grounds, our homes, our cities. At one point, both our kinds lived peacefully side by side. But then, hundreds of years ago, we were starting to get hunted by the humans. It didn’t matter that we resembled each other, we were seen as a threat, as demonic entities created to seduce humans from the right path. They started killing us and we started luring their ships in shallow water in turn, sinking them more often than not, leaving the sailors to drown. Some of us developed a thirst for blood, claiming revenge for those who had killed our sons, our daughters, and made their skins a trade good that was supposed to bring luck on human markets. The war was quickly erased from the human memory, every trace of it forgotten, but for us, they stayed our enemies.”

It was forbidden to interact with humans at all, so that the old wars could be forgotten and the merpeople could find their peace. Most of them hated humans. But there were a few that didn’t believe those horror stories told about the two-legged. People like Manuel, who sought them out again and again, watching them from afar, observing them, people who believed that not every human was the same.

“It was only a matter of time until I got caught. The banishment was effective immediately; I was only fifteen summers old when I was cast out.”

He hadn’t seen his family since, and with a wry smile, he said that he had only then realized what it had meant to be alone. “I was fascinated by humans, but I wasn’t part of their world. Even if I could walk on two legs like them, I only knew bits of their language and nothing about their culture. So I stayed close to the coast, observing, learning; but those are dangerous waters.”

Slowly, he’d learned their language, learned to read their writing. But countless times, he’d almost gotten too close to a ship’s propeller. Several times, he’d gotten caught in the fishermen’s nets, just barely being able to free himself before they came to retrieve them.

“The storms were the worst. In the open ocean, my people seek shelter on the bottom of the sea, in caves or rifts. In the shallow water, there is nothing from preventing you from being hurled against the cliffs or underwater rock formations when you sleep. I always tied a bit of seaweed around my waist to keep me secured, but that day you found me, it must have ripped.”

They were outside by now, strolling along the coast, Murmel running ahead of them, his tongue hanging out of his hair. The beach looked like a great, silvery expanse, covered with a fine layer of water, glistening in the sunlight. Manuel’s hair shimmered golden as he looked out on the sea.

He had talked for hours, but now he seemed overtaken by a quietness.

Thomas took his hand, squeezing it. The question had been laying heavy in his stomach ever since he’d known the truth about Manuel, but not asking felt like betraying him.

“Why haven’t you gone back?”

Manuel smiled without turning to look at him. “With you, for the first time in years, I didn’t feel alone.”


	4. Chapter 4

They had taken their time to get back to the lighthouse. Manuel had done all the necessary checks in the morning and in the night, so they were in no rush. The air was getting warmer by the minute, and by the time they approached the black and white tower, it was warm enough to take off their sweaters. Thomas grinned as he pulled his off, carelessly throwing it to the side.

Manuel had sat down by the water, on the rocks that were surrounding the end of the headlight surrounding the lighthouse. The tide was high and his feet were dangling in the water, his shoes laying abandoned up by the entrance door, water pooling around his ankles. He looked happy, happier than Thomas had seen him before. He looked free.

“Come here!” he yelled, waving at Thomas to join him while he was pulling off his shirt. By the time Thomas had reached him, he was only in his underwear. His grin was blinding.

“I think I owe you this,” he said before diving headfirst into the water. Thomas blinked, then gasped when Manuel shot out of the water again.

His tail and fins were a dark brass colour, speckled with golden and steel blue flecks, adorned with golden-black fins not unlike the tang he'd been tangled in when Thomas first found him. His back was arched, the scales covering the curve of his ass before seamlessly merging with the skin on his back. His eyes were closed in blissful enjoyment. Thomas laughed when he the water hit him as Manuel fell back into the water, causing a big splash.

He leaned closer to the water, startling a bit when Manuel came back up again right in front of him, smiling from ear to ear. Behind his ears, a pair of gills fluttered as he took a deep breath.

Thomas leant down to kiss him. He tasted like salt and the sea.

When they laid in bed that night, Thomas ran his fingers down Manuel’s chest in the soft afterglow. He coughed. Miraculously, he hadn’t grown sick after his mishap on the beach, but his lungs still felt worse for wear anyway.

Manuel chuckled, but then his face grew serious. He caught Thomas’ hands in his, placing a tender kiss on his palms. “I have to return to the sea every couple days.”

Thomas sighed. “I won’t stay here forever.”

Manuel turned onto his back, starting up at the ceiling. “I know.”

But for now, everything was perfect.

▻▻▻

“I can’t believe I was actually right!” Mats exclaimed, almost spilling over his drink in excitement.

They had invited him for dinner, because they’d both agreed that if they didn’t tell him, he’d only investigate further, possibly making things worse. And if you asked Thomas, the shocked face on the journalist’s face had already been worth revealing it.

Manuel lifted his eyebrows, taking a bite of his poke.

“Okay, alright,” Mats admitted, “not exactly right. But close enough.”

They didn’t hoard any treasures, Manuel had explained, nor eat poor sailors, nor were they able to seduce humans only with the sound of their voice. Mats had said that that was boring, but was still curious enough that he spent the last few hours interrogating him about his life undersea.

Manuel had only answered after making him promise by his life that he would talk – or write – about any of this with no one apart from him and Thomas. Usually, Thomas wouldn’t have trusted Mats to keep a secret as big and exciting as this one, but Manuel could be very threatening if he wanted. The fact that he halfway shifted into his water form – which included a set of sharper teeth and dangerous looking eyes – had certainly helped.

Mats had asked Manuel to transform, but Manuel had declined – fearing the possibility of having his picture taken. Instead, he’d allowed Thomas to show Mats the photo he’d taken earlier.

“Wow. And you’re sure this isn’t photoshopped?”

“What is photoshop?” Manuel had asked, causing both Mats and Thomas to burst out into giggles – Thomas’ had quickly dissolved into a coughing fit.

It was already past midnight when Mats said his goodbyes. He’d been fascinated by the lighthouse itself as well, and Thomas had realized that he’d never seen it up close at night, so they’d let him stay for the routine check.

“How are there sixteen beams? I thought there was only one!”

It was the same reaction Thomas had had once he’d seen the lens up close. When you sat in the lighthouse at night, you could see its pale bright fingers spreading over the ocean, even if from afar, it only looked like a single one.

Mats had come on his moped, so he should be back in the port soon.

“You should hurry though,” Manuel said, casting a concerned look at the sky. “There’s a storm approaching.”

It didn’t look like it, but over of the past few weeks Thomas had learned to trust Manuel’s instincts. A few hours later, he shot up in bed when a particularly loud thunder roared over the lighthouse.

Manuel hummed next to him. “‘omas?”

Thomas run his hand over his face, letting out a sigh. “Go back to sleep babe, everything’s alright.”

Only, as he then quickly realized, it wasn’t. It was completely dark outside. It _shouldn’t_ be completely dark outside.

Thomas hurried upstairs still only in his underwear, almost falling over his own feet, ignoring Manuel when he called after him.

Apart from the roaring thunder, it was completely quiet inside the machine room. The lighthouse was dead.

Thomas’ mind started racing. If there was too much water it could happen that they were caught of from the landline, he recalled. But why hadn’t the backup generators kicked in?

Manuel was still sitting in bed, looking confused when Thomas rushed past him, struggling to get into his pants, throwing on a sweater, uncaring that he put it on the wrong way. It was still completely dark outside, would be for another hour or two until dawn would start to settle, and even then, it would take too long for the sky to brighten. He didn’t want to think about all those ships out there, looking for a signal to guide them through the storm but not finding one. He had forgotten his torch upstairs, so the only thing he saw when he stepped outside was that the headland was completely flooded.

Once he’d made it down the steps, the water came up to his knees. He cursed under his breath as he rushed over to the hatch under which the generators were located. He’d never opened it before, according to Sam they only did tests on them every three months and Thomas didn’t have anything to do with them. He remembered the keys, in a drawer back upstairs, but realized that it was to no avail. Even if he’d had the keys, he wouldn’t have been able to open it.

He startled when suddenly, there was a torch being illuminated next to him. He hadn’t heard Manuel approaching in the howling of the thunderstorm. He was only wearing a thin shirt, his legs bare as he stood in the water. There were scales shimmering on his thighs, flickering in and out of existence. The ocean was calling to him, but he stood by Thomas’ side.

Underneath the light of the torch, it was easy to figure out what had gone wrong. As sealed as the hatch might be, at the edge, there was a small spot that had started to rust, growing thin over the years. It must have broken through when the waves had first hit it. The hole was only as big as the nail of Thomas’ pinky, but it was enough to let water into the generator room, completely frying them.

He turned around, wanting to rush back to the lighthouse when Manuel caught his arm.

“What are you doing?” He had to yell, otherwise Thomas wouldn’t have understood him.

“The landline!”

Manuel shook his head. “It’s dead. I tried your phone too, but the network is disrupted by the storm.”

They didn’t have a boat, Thomas realized as they waded back to the lighthouse, the waves crashing into them, no way to get to town, to inform Sam, to do something. Except. He almost choked on water when another wave hit him, glad when he finally reached the steps.

He turned to Manuel as soon as they were inside, the door closed behind them. “Can you take me to the port?”

Manuel shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. I am a good swimmer, yes, but not even I can escape the power of the sea. We’d likely be thrown against some rocks and perish.”

“Fuck!” Thomas buried his face in his hands. Angrily, he wiped the tear out of his eyes. People were going to die tonight, and he was to fault. He, who hadn’t checked up on the generators when there’d still been time.

Manuel squeezed his shoulders. “This is not your fault. There is nothing you can do. But,” he frowned, then he suddenly stood upright. He pushed past Thomas, hurrying up the stairs.

He was fast, faster than Thomas. By the time the lighthouse keeper made it to their small home, Manuel was already upstairs. He wasn’t in the control room though, but outside, on the balcony, facing the sea. He was still wearing his t-shirt, the storm ripping at his hair, but his legs were gone, and instead, his tail was dangling off the edge.

A strange sound filled the air and it took Thomas a moment to understand that he was singing. It was a haunted, atmospheric noise that would have been terrifying had it come from anyone else. It spread over the ocean and somehow managed to fill the air in a way that not even the roar of the thunder did. He sang and sang and sang while Thomas waited behind the glass, watching him.

It was dawn when the storm finally started to ebb away, and with it, so did Manuel’s song. As soon as his last note died out, he collapsed on the floor.

Thomas quickly scrambled to his feet, hurrying to open the door. It was stuck, but when he finally managed to get it open, he almost fell over his own feet trying to reach Manuel.

He looked exhausted, as if the storm had drained all the life out of him.

Thomas had never really touched him in this form, apart from that one kiss they’d shared down by the ocean. The scales felt smooth underneath his fingers, cold in a similar way that metal did. There was webbing between his fingers and his ears were slightly pointed. He looked so similar to the Manuel Thomas knew and loved, but somehow not similar at all. Thomas placed a hand over his heart, letting out a relieved sigh when he realized that it was still beating, that he was still breathing, clutching the otherwise so lifeless body to his chest. If you asked him about it later, he couldn’t have told you why he’d let a wail escape his lips, his slender body being shaken by sobs. But he knew that would never again shed so many tears as he did that morning.

It took him a while to carry Manuel inside. He was heavy, and a deadweight for Thomas’ exhausted body. Placing him on the bed when he didn’t look like someone who would sleep in a bed at all felt strange, and Murmel, who had spent the entirety of the storm howling, wailing and whimpering under the table, sniffed at the scales with what could only be described as a very confused look.

Thomas sat by Manuel’s bedside for hours, only occasionally getting up to make himself a cup of tea. He wondered how he could wake him up, even leaned down to cover his lips with his own – but this was no fairytale where the princess could be awoken by true love’s kiss.

He couldn’t do anything but wait.

He’d called Sam just after he’d put Manuel to bed. “We’ve been lucky,” the harbor master had said as soon as he’d picked up the phone, “I don’t know how, but somehow, none of the ships have run aground.”

“Yeah, lucky ...,” Thomas had whispered, squeezing Manuel’s hand.

They were coming over to fix the landline in about two hours, Sam had said. By the time the small truck came to a halt in front of the lighthouse, Thomas had almost forgotten about it again. Based on the quick checks he’d done in the morning everything was still fully functional, so it was only the power supply that had been cut off.

“We’ll be done in half an hour,” the mechanic said, then got to work immediately. There were three of them, and in fact, they were finished after twenty minutes. They looked a bit disgruntled that Thomas didn’t invite them up for a coffee, but he really had no idea how he should have explained the unconscious merman in his bed.

So, he just stood with his back resting against the front door, Murmel by his side, as he watched them drive away again. They’d promised to take a look at the generators too, “but we need special equipment for that. And someone to fix that door.”

They would return in two days time, the mechanic had said.

Thomas sighed, and then he called Mats.

▻▻▻

Manuel was awake when he made it back upstairs. He was sitting on the window bench, still in his natural form, clutching a cup of tea.

“Hey,” he said, his smile tired but genuine.

His voice sounded different this way, more melodious, more otherworldly. Thomas had never heard him speak in this form before, and it sounded too much like the way his song had sounded the past night.

When he noticed Thomas staring at his tail, he sighed.

“Last night took me quite a bit of energy. I can’t transform back right now.”

He looked surprised when Thomas walked up to him, sitting on his knees next to him, surprised when he just leaned in to hug him.

“Thank you.”

Manuel tilted his head questioningly.

“You steered the ships away last night. Not one of them came into the shallow waters. They all made it.”

Manuel smiled, taking another sip before he turned his head to the side to steal a kiss. When he opened his mouth, his sharp, almost shark-like teeth grazed at Thomas lips. When he lifted his hand, placing it on Thomas neck, Thomas could feel the webbing between his fingers.

He startled.

It wasn’t bad, it felt simply … different. Different from the Manu he knew and loved, but still familiar in a way that made him uncaring about those differences.

Thomas sighed when they pulled away, hugging him even tighter, smiling as he buried his nose in the blond’s hair. It smelled like salt and seaweed. It smelled like Manu.


	5. Chapter 5

It was as if that night had broken the last bit of weirdness that had existed between them ever since Thomas had discovered the truth about Manuel.

Manuel had been out when the mechanics returned a few days later, bringing more treasures back with him than ever before. It was the first time he’d gotten out of the lighthouse since the night of the storm. At first he’d been too weak – it had taken him more than a day to be able to transform back to his human form, and then he’d preferred to rest for a bit longer, recharging his energy.

“So you transform at will?” Thomas had asked.

“Not exactly,” Manuel had said, chewing a bit of coalfish that Thomas had arranged on a plate for him, together with a few cooked vegetables. It was still a bit unsettling, watching him eat raw fish, but he’d expressed that he liked it best; especially in this form. Slowly, Thomas was getting used to it, even if the way he cut it up in small bites looked almost a bit comical, considering that merpeople didn’t usually bother with cutlery. “It doesn’t work as long as I’m fully submerged, and it takes energy to perform. Not much, but it’s the same kind of energy I need when I sing.”

Not the songs he was singing along to while they were preparing a meal and listening to the radio, dancing around the room, of course, but the mermaid’s song. When Thomas had asked about magic, he’d only shrugged. “Isn’t every unknown thing a bit magical in itself?”

Now, Manuel grinned when he saw Thomas gaping as he placed his finds on the small table when he came back a few hours after the mechanics had left. Shells entirely covered in mother-of-pearl, amber pieces bigger than grapes, dried starfish skeletons, covered in a shimmery brass substance.

“I was holding back a bit,” he admitted, “didn’t want you to get too curious.” There was pride in his smile, so overwhelming that it was almost enough to hide an underlying tenseness. But right now, he seemed happy, so Thomas couldn’t find it in himself to care.

They were outside that afternoon, walking close together as Thomas told him that they had managed to fix the generators. “And the leak. So no more nightly operations for you.”

Manuel smiled wistfully as he cast a look over the desolate ocean, but offered no further opinion.

It was the first time they went to town together ever since their initial fight had happened. Thomas had been busy with the lighthouse, and Manuel had enjoyed his time in the ocean too much – that he could now enjoy freely during the day, now that he hadn’t have to worry about Thomas accidentally watching him anymore.

The shopkeeper Manuel usually sold his ware to blinked her eyes in amazement when he unpacked his goods. So did Thomas, when he saw the final number on the deal.

Manuel grinned, kissing his hair. “C’mon. Let me take you out for dinner.”

It had never occurred to Thomas that they’d never been on a real date before.

“How do you even know about that?” he asked, his mouth full with deliciously creamy shellfish.

“It’s not like we don’t romance our partners, Thommy.” Manuel said, his eyebrow raised. “But I guess I got to know about this kind of courting when I was spending time further east along the coast a few years ago.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “There was this small restaurant, a bit like this one. I could observe it well from a rock a few hundred feet away. Couples came there often.”

He looked down. “It hurt, knowing that I would never have the chance to do that, but I came back again and again anyway. They didn’t all end happily of course – one notable episode included a girl throwing her drink at her date – but it seemed like happiness to me.”

Thomas reached for his hand, stroking over the back of it before leaning over for a short peck. They didn’t need words to express what they were feeling, instead it was all conveyed in the smile they exchanged.

The sun was setting as they made their way back home – and truly, a home it had become, Thomas realized, one filled with warmth and love. The mornings felt different now, like he couldn’t miss Manuel in his arms anymore, wouldn’t miss his laughter in his ear, the weight of his head on his chest, the smell of his hair and the taste of his lips.

He’d been in the lighthouse for eight weeks, and he realized that his time there was coming to a close. Sam hadn’t gotten the call yet, but they were all aware that it wouldn’t take much longer. Manuel was aware of it too and they both grew silent whenever there was a check to be done, both of them making the trek upstairs wordlessly and coming back down the same way as well.

With every passing day, Thomas’ anxiety grew. Manuel didn’t return to the ocean as often now, but Thomas could see the longing looks he directed at the rippling water whenever they were outside.

“I should go pick up some things in town today. Mats asked me to come over as well,” he said innocently one morning, bumping his hip against Manu’s when they were doing the dishes, “you could go out for a swim.”

Manuel’s smile was pained. He didn’t say anything, instead focused on getting every drop of water off the plate he was drying. But when Thomas stepped outside half an hour later, he was there, sitting on one of the big boulders outside the lighthouse, already in his true form.

They parted with a kiss and the exchange of a soft smile, but instead of soothing him, the way it tasted a bit bitter left an uneasiness to Thomas stomach that didn’t even disappear when Mats greeted him excitedly, telling him all about his new project while they were sipping their coffees sitting on a bench by the harbour.

“I saw Sam the other day,” Mats said. “Came down to collect the demurrage. He said that the thing he needs for the lighthouse would likely be finished soon.”

Thomas nodded slowly.

“Did you know about that?”

He shrugged.

Mats cleared his throat. “Does Manu know?”

Thomas sighed. “Of course he knows. I told him pretty early that this was only a temporary job, long before I found out about…”

“... the whole fish thing?” Mats added with a dry smile.

Thomas stifled a snort. “Yeah, that.” He was aware of how resigned he sounded, but Mats shot him a curious glance.

“I can’t take him away from the ocean. It’s his home.”

“But it’s not yours, am I right?”

Thomas groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I miss being back home,” he mumbled. Then, more clearly, “I miss my family and my friends and the city and the woods and the mountains and the rivers and small lakes. But god, I know I’m gonna miss him. And it hurts knowing that once I lose him, I won’t be able to see him again.”

Mats patted his back, but it didn’t help much.

“Have you ever thought someone was the one, Mats?”

Mats slowly shook his head. “I can’t say that I did, no. I was together with my girlfriend for what seems like ages … and then we broke up over a fight for a handbag, and I can’t even bring myself to be sorry.” He stared at the horizon. “I think all writers are a bit of hopeless romantics, so I never truly stopped believing. Not when my parents got divorced, not when Cathy and I broke up, not when my baby brother got his heart broken by a girl way out of his league that he adored to death. And even if over time and many shitty dates, I grew a bit cynical, too … when I see couples like you and Manu – god, then I think I might be right after all.”

Thomas took a deep, rattling breath. His chest felt like he’d just run a marathon, something heavy and hard pressing down on it.

“I just fear that this might have been it. That no one will ever be able to measure up to him. And that I’ll stay alone for the rest of my life. And what hurts even more is that likely, so will he.”

He grew silent, his eyes wandering to stare at the sky. It was overcast, similar to day he first arrived. There might have been a shower or rain later in the afternoon. Manuel would know, Thomas thought.

“I know I need to let him go. But even if I know it’s selfish, I know I don’t want to.”

▻▻▻

He realized that something was wrong as soon as he approached the lighthouse. The sun had come out underneath the clouds, already starting to dip in the ocean, the sky bleeding orange. The door to the lighthouse was open, and Murmel ran up to him as soon as he spotted him, agitated, barking.

“Easy boy,” Thomas said, but his efforts to calm the dog down were to no avail. He kept jumping at his legs, seemingly desperate, before suddenly running away again, barking at him. Instead of inside, he ran around the lighthouse, down to the ocean. Thomas didn’t need a second invitation to hurry after him.

Manuel laid on the small strip of sand that appeared at the end of headland when the tide was low. Already from afar, something about him looked all wrong. He was shaking, Thomas realized, his full body trembling in a way that made it look unnatural, contorted, bent. His legs laid in front of him like two dead fish, covered in scales that looked more like rash on his pink skin. Only at the second glance did he notice that there were scales spread around him all over the sand.

He was panting, gasping, whimpering, his eyes squinted shut.

Thomas almost fell over his feet as he climbed down the rocks, slitting his hand open on a sharp edge. The blood felt warm on his skin, but he didn’t care. He left a red handprint on Manuel’s cheek as he grabbed his face, forcing him to look at him.

“Manu! Manu!!” He hated how terrified he sounded, but the fear had already overtaken his entire body.

Manuel didn’t respond. He continued spasming even as Thomas wrapped his arms around him, cradling him like one would a child. He didn’t react when Thomas whispered comforting words to him, only whimpered as he stroked his hair.

“You’re alright sweetheart, you’re gonna be a alright,” Thomas murmured, rocking him back and forth. It was terrifying to know that he couldn’t be sure. That had no idea what was wrong, let alone how to help him.

It took ten minutes for the spasms to subside. Slowly, all the scales disappeared off his legs, the one on the sand vanishing like they had never existed. Manuel’s breath grew from ragged to quiet, rattling, and Thomas pulled him tighter to his body when he realized that he was crying.

“Are you hurting, _mein Schatz_?” he asked as quietly as possible. His heart clenched when he felt the blond nod hesitantly against his chest.

Thomas squinted his eyes shut when he realized that there was no way he could get Manuel upstairs. He was in no condition to walk up several hundred steps, and even if Thomas had wanted, he wouldn’t have managed to carry him up any of them without breaking his back.

So he laid him to the ground as gently as possible, taking off his jacket to put it under his head.

“You take care of him, alright?” he said to Murmel, who didn’t even bark but instead only nudged his nose against Manuel, laying his head down on the blond’s stomach.

It took quite a bit of effort to drag their two heavy woolen blankets, two pillows, a set of clothes for Manuel and a thermos flask of hot tea downstairs. He’d almost forgotten to take care of the cut on his palm but then realized he had to when he left a bloody trail on the white sheets. Thomas had gotten used to the long flight of stairs, had even started to appreciate them – walking up and down several times a day had certainly kept him in shape. Now, they felt endless.

It was already dark outside when he finally made it. With all the strength he could muster up he somehow managed to drag Manuel up to the small concreted area surrounding the lighthouse, even if they both had a few bruises more to show afterwards. He propped him up against the plinth of the tower, wrapping one of the blankets tightly around him, putting a pillow behind his back. Sitting down next to him, their sides pressed together, carefully placing an arm around his shoulder.

Manuel weakly smiled up at him when he offered him a cup of tea, sighing when he took the first sip. He cleared his throat.

“I didn’t want you to see that.”

Thomas turned to him sharply. “What do you mean. Has this happened before?” His stomach started twisting itself into knots when Manuel nodded reluctantly.

“It’s been…. harder. Transformation takes a toll on our bodies, it’s,” he sighed, running a trembling hand over his face. “It’s not supposed to be done as often, in such a quick succession.”

Thomas stared at him. It wasn’t that he was at a loss for words, but he truly had no idea know what to say to that.

“It was alright before the storm, I mean I felt it too but,” he fiddled with his blanket. “It was alright. But ever since, it’s been… a struggle.”

“A struggle?” Thomas’ laugh was cruel, disbelieving. “Have you any idea how that looked? It looked like you were dying, and in so much pain that I felt that if I touched you, I would feel it as well!”

Manuel ducked his head. “I didn’t want you to trouble with it.”

Thomas snorted. “Bullshit. What’s really going on? Why couldn’t you tell me that you were hurting?” His words were harsh, cutting the air between them like shards of glass. Still, Manuel remained silent. It felt wrong, touching him in that moment, but Thomas found that he didn’t dare let go. His voice was soft when he spoke up again. “Please, tell me.”

Thomas hadn’t been prepared for the truth. Hadn’t been prepared ready for his heart to start thumping in his chest, the blood roaring through his eardrums making him numb, deaf until it was the only thing he could hear as Manuel’s words raced through his mind.

“It will get worse. If I stay away from the water too often, for too long, I will lose it. I will lose my scales, my gills, my fin. I will lose who I am.”

Manu took an uneven breath, his voice so quiet it was barely more than a whisper. “It’s already gotten to the point where I’d rather not put myself through it. We’re not meant to stay human this long, and if we do,” he looked out over the ocean, quiet tears forming in his eyes, “we pay the ultimate price.”

▻▻▻

They slept outside that night. The air was surprisingly warm, and Manuel was sure there wouldn’t be any rain. After Thomas had dragged down the rest of their bedding, they laid down on the woolen blankets they used as a makeshift mattress, staring up at the sky.

Neither of them were in the mood to do anything, so they just laid side by side. Manuel had put his hands behind his head.

“I never used to get to see the stars back then. When you sleep underwater, the only twinkle you get is the moonlight reflecting on the surface of the water.”

Thomas took his hand, wordlessly.

Manuel sighed. “You are leaving in a couple weeks, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t a question.

Thomas nodded. “Mats talked to Sam the other day…” He didn’t need to finish the sentence.

“So even if I could figure out a way …”

They sighed almost simultaneously. “Even then,” Thomas said with final certainty, “this wouldn’t be forever.” He let out a short laugh, his voice filled with tears as his eyes started feeling wet. “God, we’re such idiots. Didn’t we know that from the beginning?”

Manuel held him close. Their cheeks touched each other, then they both turned their heads until their noses bumped together, lips finding each other like they’d never done anything else.

“Sometimes, when you find a treasure, even though you know that it’s too heavy to carry home, you just want to keep it. So you stay, you stay and you bask in its glory until you starve because no matter how beautiful it is, it’s not enough to keep you alive.”

Their next kiss was wet, and even if they both know it wouldn’t yet be, it felt like their last one.

▻▻▻

Manuel was gone when Thomas woke up the next morning. The blankets had grown damp from the morning dew, and when Thomas patted the empty space next to him and found it cold, he realized it must have been abandoned a while ago.

For a moment, his heart stuttered. He rushed to his feet, almost tripping over the blankets in the process. Bundling them up in his arm, still barefooted, he rushed to the door; only to stop short when there was Manuel, Murmel by his side, clutching the thermos flask.

“Um. I made tea.”

Thomas just started at him for a moment, then rushed to hug him.

“God, I thought you had left.”

Manuel’s smile was soft as he leant down to peck him on the forehead. The ‘not yet’ hung between them like a dark cloud, but for now, this was good; this was enough.

Breakfast was a silent ordeal, but they held hands the whole time. They sat outside on their makeshift bed, Murmel resting at their feet, watching the sunrise. When they were finished, only clutching their cups in their hands, Manuel rested his head on Thomas shoulder. It was almost cruel, Thomas thought, that it was the last time he’d get to feel his body so close to his.

They took their time, leaving the last few sips in the cups for so long that they were cold when they finally finished their tea.

Murmel didn’t understand why they were both so somber as they walked along the shore up north for a few hours, slowly, trying to enjoy every minute they’d still get, unable to let go of each other’s hands. He skipped ahead of them, barking, excited about the warm weather. But apart from a tired smile, Thomas had nothing he could offer him.

He felt his eyes drift over to Manuel all the time. He looked radiant in the sunlight, as if he was part of it, as if he should be. God, he was so beautiful, he thought. He should have known that he wasn’t human – no human had eyes that blue, features that breathtaking, a smile that stunning.

Manuel’s smile was warm, all the sadness it conveyed during breakfast and the night before gone.

(“We had a good ride,” he’d said, “didn’t we? Why dwell on the sadness when we can recall the happiness we feel together.”)

For Thomas, it wasn’t as easy. Over and over, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. But realizing that they couldn’t even stay together if he’d stayed here, given up his life in Munich for a sleepy coastal town and a merman with a breathtaking smile, made him accept that this was how it had to be. And even if they only had mere minutes left, he would savour every single one of them.

It was another hour until they finally reached the spot where Thomas had almost frozen to death mere weeks ago. They sat on the same boulder that Manu had leaned Thomas against.

Manuel chuckled, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close.

Thomas buried his nose in his shoulders. “I can’t believe I only met you six weeks ago.”

“Feels longer, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. God,” he shook his head. “Two months ago I didn’t even know you, and now I don’t know how I’m supposed to continue my life without you.”

Manuel didn’t say anything, instead he simply kissed his head. When Thomas pulled away, he could see the tears in his eyes, those beloved, beautiful eyes, and suddenly it was as if a switch had been turned inside him.

“Hey, heyy. Sweetheart. Don’t cry.”

But when Manuel offered him a teary smile, letting out a small little sob, he couldn’t hold himself back either.

No more words were spoken between them; no, they let their love catch aflame for the last time, talking through their kisses, their hands, their skin against each other for one last time as the sun sunk lower and lower. It already kissed the edge of the horizon when Manuel stepped to the water. He stood at the edges of the foamy water like a statue, his silhouette illuminated by the last rays of sunlight.

Thomas had stayed back, leaning against the boulder.

Manuel took a few steps forward, the water playing at his calves as if welcoming him home. The sea was clear, so still that it was almost mirror-like, and Thomas was sure that the image of a naked Manuel returning to the sea would be imprinted in his mind forever.

Manuel stood there for while, as if he was unsure if he should proceed, and for a crazy, irrational moment Thomas thought that he might come back, pick their life together over everything else. But who was he to demand such a sacrifice from someone; especially from someone he loved this much?

His couldn’t stop himself from letting out a watery chuckle when Manuel turned back around.

The merman nodded at him, gifting him with on last crooked smile, and suddenly, Thomas didn’t find it hard to return it. He lifted his hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on his palm before opening it, blowing it to Manuel. With a small, fond roll of his eyes, the blond caught it in his hands, as if it was more than just a breath of air, putting his own hand over his heart as webbing grew between his fingers. And then, with one turn and a splash, he was gone.

And suddenly, it was as if he had never been there and the only proof of his existence were the marks on Thomas’ skin and the bundle of clothes, laying neatly folded on a rock. Thomas blinked, then blinked again. And only when Murmel walked up to him, rubbing his snout against his bare leg, did the waterworks start to flow.


	6. Chapter 6

It didn’t take him long to realize that living in the lighthouse on his own was not only not the same anymore, but more painful than anything else. In every corner of the small room, he could feel Manuel’s ghost, his touch; be it in his memories or in the small shells and stones he had placed on the table, the windowsill, the small niche next to their bed. Their bed that felt so wrong to sleep in alone that Thomas willingly returned to the window bench, even if his back felt like it was going to crack every morning.

Every moment he could, he spent outside, in the control room, in town or at Mats’. But even there, his memories haunted him. Thankfully his friend didn’t speak to him about it, didn’t even ask when Thomas showed up at his berth looking like someone had died.

It took three days until he finally mustered up the courage to call his mother. He hadn’t done that nearly enough with Manuel around, his mind otherwise occupied, but now there was nothing more soothing than hearing her voice, hearing her talk about his brother’s job, his dad’s new hobby, the weather back in Bavaria. It made him feel like he had a future there, which was a blessing when he’d felt as any future he might ever have had had been stripped away the second he’d lost Manu.

‘She will never get to know him,’ he thought as she talked about the girl her neighbour was marrying, ‘my mother will never meet the one person I loved the most.’ And even if he wasn’t out to his parents, never had felt a need to, with all his exes being girls, in that moment, he felt deep regret for not telling her, for not telling that he lost his heart to the sea.

On top of that, Mats talked about leaving too. “It’s time for a change of perspective. And what will I do when you will leave, too? I have been alone for so long.” He didn’t look at Thomas. “It was good, having friends again. I,” he took a deep breath, “I miss Fish Boy. And I will miss you too.”

Thomas’ smile was small, but there. “I will miss you too, you big oaf. Text me, yeah? You promised that we’ll meet up next time you’ll visit your family.” (Who, surprisingly, actually lived in Munich.)

Mats’ grin was crooked. And suddenly, Thomas realized that he hadn’t had a best friend in ages, but that now he was about to lose one.

He was glad when three days later, Sam called him.

“Good work Müller. You forgot to your checks less often than I’d anticipated,” he chuckled as he sat in the computer in the control room, reviewing Thomas’ work. “But say, whatever happened to that boy of yours?”

Thomas’ only answer was a tired smile, which Sam acknowledged with a knowing nod. The smile grew slightly wider when he accepted the certificate with his wage, knowing that he could afford to look for another job in the next few weeks and not having to worry about paying for rent and food.

It was only a small consolation, but it was something.

He packed his bags with the knowledge that he’d likely never return to the small town, that even if he left Sam his email, telling him that if something ever came up again, he’d think about it, he knew that he wouldn’t. That he couldn’t if he didn’t want it to break his heart.

Murmel licked over his hands when he closed the cabinets behind him, shouldering his backpack. The room felt empty now, without the sheets on the bed, the red cloth on the table, Manuel’s shells and stones on the window sill; stripped of their love, he thought, feeling his stomach clench.

“C’mon, Mu, let’s go.” He turned his back on the place he’d called his temporary home, not daring to look back because he knew that if he did, he likely wouldn’t be able to leave.

Sam had offered to pick him up, to drive him back to the harbour or even take him directly to the train station, but Thomas had looked at the sky and shaken his head. The walk to town was a beautiful one, and he realized that he’d never really appreciated the wonderful scenery for what it was. He stopped halfway, just before the sign that prohibited trespassers to continue, setting down his bag. Murmel sniffed at it before laying down next to it, yawning, putting his hands on his paws.

With a sigh, Thomas strayed from the street, walking down to the beach. Just a few meters from the drift line, he stopped. He toed out of his shoes, walking over the sand before sitting down, plunging his feet in the water. It was cold, so cold that even with the warm sun shining down at him, they started to feel numb after not even a minute.

But Thomas only smiled.

“Hey, Manu. I know this is stupid and that you probably can’t even hear me.” He took a ragged breath. “I’m going back home, Manu, even if I don’t know yet how I will ever again be able to call anywhere that that doesn’t include you. I miss you, you stupid idiot. I hope you’re doing well, though, and that your home under the sea is at least as beautiful as ours was up here. My mum found me some promising jobs. I hope I can get one of them, I really need something to occupy my mind. _God_ , I miss you and I still don’t know how to deal with it. I love you, you know? I don’t think I ever told you, how stupid is that,” he chuckled wetly, reaching up to wipe some tear from his eyes. “I. I placed your clothes under a rock just over there.” Everything except his favourite sweater. That, Thomas had kept for himself, carefully wrapped and stored in between his t-shirts. “Or I will – just, I thought if you ever feel the urge to walk among humans again. Better not scare the tourists by walking around in the buff, right? I’m sure some people would he happy to see you again. Mats, if he’s still here, the people in the bakery.... I don’t think anyone bought as much of their nutella cake as you did. Even the old lady you sold your goods to.” With a sigh, he dipped his fingers into the water.

If he closed his eyes, he could imagine that it was Manuel’s hand enclosing his his.

“Goodbye, Manu. Take care of yourself for me, will you?”

▻▻▻

He took his time to get back to train station. He’d missed the bus by just five minutes, but in the knowledge that his train would only leave in another two hours, he had more than enough time to go by foot. It was strange, wandering along these now so familiar streets in the knowledge that it’d be the last time he’d ever see them. He bought a piece of nutella cake at the bakery, but threw it in the next bin after the first bite when he realized how much it reminded him of Manu.

The sky had started to cloud over, and when he stepped foot in the train station, it looked exactly as it had the day he’d arrived. The train was already at the platform. As if in trance, he walked through the still-empty carriages before finally dropping down in his seat. Suddenly, he was exhausted. But he had no tears left to cry, no memory left to mourn. With a sigh, he turned his head to the side, leaning against the window. He didn’t realize that he’d fallen asleep, but he only woke back up again when someone accidentally kicked his seat from behind. A little boy and his mother had taken their places behind him, and as he looked around, his head hurting from the uncomfortable position he’d napped in, he noticed that the train was starting to fill up. When he checked his phone, he realized that they were due to leave any minute. The engine had already been started, sending a low rumble through the entire train. Outside on the platform, the conductor signalled that they were ready for departure. It had started to rain, the drops slowly trailing down the window glass. Only then, just before the conductor was about to turn around, a single tall figure appeared on the platform, hood drawn over his face, completely drenched as the conductor hurried him inside.

Thomas chuckled, shaking his head. Poor guy, must have been surprised by the rain.

His heart took a leap as the train started, the town passing away in front of his windows, fully aware that he was leaving a part of his life behind. Maybe the best part; but he’d come to realize that that didn’t mean that no good things could come in the future. He hugged his arms tighter around himself as he remembered the happy days, the days where Manuel’s smile had shone as bright as the ocean when the sunlight reflected on it. And even with the rain outside, the air growing colder with every day, he felt warmth blossoming in his stomach.

He startled when someone cleared their throat next to him. “Is this seat taken?”

Thomas froze. He’d recognized the man’s voice immediately.

He wanted to say something, anything, but instead he could only stare. Stare at those eyes that cut right through him, those cheeks that he’d trailed with his fingers so often. Those lips he’d kissed many times and that now curled into an amused smile. In the end, he only nodded.

Manuel sat down. He was wet from head to toe, his hoodie and the pair of jeans not the best protection against heavy November rain. And still, Thomas couldn’t believe it.

“Manu,” he whispered, “is it really you?” He flinched when Manuel took his hand, but once he felt his fingers between his own, every doubt that he’d had left disappeared.

The blond chuckled, his eyes warm. “Yes Thommy, it’s me,” he said, before leaning in for a kiss.

They kissed again and again, and with each kiss it became more real, it sunk in more that he was really here, with him, with a train ticket to Munich peeking out of his pocket and his lips against Thomas’. They kissed for so long until the mother behind them coughed discreetly and they separated with flushed cheeks and matching tentative smiles.

Thomas sighed, placing his head on Manuel’s shoulder, playing with his fingers.

They watched the rain on the windows as the train drove by fields, sheep and wind turbines. And with every breath Thomas could feel Manuel’s chest rise underneath his ear, with every moment that passed, it felt more real.

He didn’t know what the future would hold for either of them, but now, he had a reason to look forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

>  _“He is slow, and the sea sings to us both, but he returns to me.”_  
>  ― Maggie Stiefvater, The Scorpio Races
> 
>   * Uhh so, some bonus info: 
>   * If it wasn't already obvious, Manuel has been observing Thomas from afar every time he was outside ever since they said goodbye. He couldn't bear being separated from him, but he knew that making his presence known again would only make it harder for them
>   * He had considered the possibility of giving up his merman-ness ever since the storm, but he only made the final decision when Thomas came to say goodbye
>   * So he put on the clothes he left for him, asked for the way to the train station (with no real concept of what a train even is), brought a ticket – even if he had issues remembering the name of Thomas' home town – and yeah .... the rest is history
>   * Mats, of course, will not stay alone for the rest of his life; instead, just before leaving town, he runs into a fisherman he hasn't seen before – younger than the others, handsome, with a sunshine smile and freckles all over his cheeks. He stays.
>   * And Thomas and Manu will one day get married at the lighthouse, I'm sure of that
>   * [This](http://pharus.hix.de/wp-content/uploads/c1186-deutschland-schleimu%CC%88nde-3-840x410.jpg) was the lighthouse I based Fisherman's Point on – everything would be bigger, of course, but in looks and the area surrounding it, this is pretty spot-on
>   * I know nothing when it comes to the technical stuff concerning lighthouses, so uhh, yeah, just don't look too much into it
>   * I initially wanted the mermaid elements to be a lot more lore-based, world-building, but in the end it had a natural flow to writing it like this, so I ended up with something more relationship-based. Hope that's okay
>   * I write FICTION about real people. None of this is intended to harm them or their reputation in any way
> 

> 
> Please leave kudos and maybe a comment if you liked it! | [tumblr](http://manuelmueller.tumblr.com/)


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